


How to Let You Go

by Youngblood615



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Haikyuu Month, Haikyuu Week, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Iwaizumi Hajime Swears, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Kunimi/Kindaichi If You Squint, M/M, Mentioned Bokuto Koutarou, Mentioned Yaku Morisuke, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining Iwaizumi Hajime, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Timeskip Haikyuu!!, aoba johsai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25642855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youngblood615/pseuds/Youngblood615
Summary: Haikyuu!! Angst Fiction with Iwaizumi x Oikawa plus a fine sprinkle of Matsukawa x Hanamaki***CHANGED FROM A ONE SHOT TO AN ACTUAL PLOT BECAUSE I WAS BORED***POV of Iwaizumi Hajime*Setting is timeskip, please be aware of manga spoilers!*“Oikawa’s eyes glistened with the reflection of the buildings in his eyes, 'Iwa-chan, I missed the lights of Tokyo.'Iwaizumi felt a tightening in his heart at Oikawa’s genuine comment."[Oikawa is back for the 2021 Olympic games and the third-year Seijoh players meet up for dinner, reuniting Oikawa with his ex-boyfriend Iwaizumi for the first time in months.]
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro & Matsukawa Issei, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy my favorite pairing because I love them and love to write them.  
> ....even though I made this sad.....  
> whoops (:

There was nothing like old teammates getting together again, reminiscing about high school memories and catching up about new adventures. In a clash of the new rivalry between the Japanese National Volleyball team and the Argentinian National Volleyball Team, Aoba Johsai’s former third-year squad met for dinner in Tokyo.

“Hanamaki, you asshole! You’re such a traitor!” Oikawa screeched across the table, sitting next to his former ace spiker, Iwaizumi.

“All I’m saying is that Iwaizumi and Japan are going to wipe the floor with you!” Hanamaki grinned, savoring in the ability to once again get under Oikawa’s skin.

“Of course, we are,” Iwaizumi confirmed with a small hint of a smirk across his face.

“Makki, you’re not even employed, your opinions are invalid,” Oikawa smugly replied.

“Oi! That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about!” Matsukawa shouted, setting down his glass.

“Issei, no need to get worked up over Loserkawa,” Hanamaki laughed, put his hand on Matsukawa’s shoulder to calm him down.

“And you, Mattsun, you’re working at a funeral home! That’s just depressing!” Oikawa continued, spilling a little bit of his drink on the table as he waved his hand to point at Matsukawa.

“It pays the bills,” Matsukawa stated simply.

“We can’t all be international volleyball superstars like you, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi blew air forcefully from his nostrils and shook his head, as if dealing with Oikawa was exhausting.

“Mean, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa lightly smacked Iwaizumi’s bicep, the massive size of it hidden underneath a white button-down shirt and a dark blazer. He instantly regretted it as Iwaizumi turned his head to look at the floppy-haired man and glared at him.

“Sorry, sorry!” Oikawa put his hands up in defense.

“We’re also in our late twenties, can you stop calling me that stupid nickname?” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and looked out the window in the opposite direction of his former setter.

“Sorry, Iwa-ch… I– I mean, Iwaizumi,” Oikawa pouted.

“…Better,” Iwaizumi nodded his head slightly.

The mood at the table had shifted to much quieter than before. Iwaizumi had a threshold for tolerating Oikawa’s cheerful teasing, but once it got too far, he tended to snap. Especially when the four of them had had their fair share of drinks, it was difficult for anyone but Iwaizumi to keep the volume to a minimum.

“Anyways… we have to leave tomorrow because Issei has work on Monday. The dead people can’t organize the funeral by themselves,” Hanamaki explained.

“Oh, no, boo! One more drink, I’m buying!” Oikawa boasted.

Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa all exchanged glances.

“We shouldn–,” Iwaizumi started, but was interrupted.

“Yeah, okay!” Matsukawa and Hanamaki agreed, “let’s drink one more for old time’s sake!”

“Oh, waitress!” Oikawa called to the younger-looking girl standing at the counter, “another round, please!” adding a wink at the end. The waitress blushed a deep red, unable to control herself when such a handsome man asked something of her so politely.

Iwaizumi only sighed and rolled his eyes at the fact that he used to date this idiot. But as Oikawa started talking about life in Argentina, Iwaizumi couldn’t help but look over at his former partner. They both decided before Oikawa left for Argentina that being on rival teams and separated by half of the world was not a good way to handle a relationship, but both were also determined to remain the best of friends. He had told Oikawa when they lost their last high school game to Karasuno that Oikawa needed to keep moving forward without hesitation. To Iwaizumi, Oikawa would always be the partner he was proud of, an amazing setter. But if they were on opposite teams, Iwaizumi made the promise to take Oikawa down.

Unfortunately, Iwaizumi’s feelings had not disappeared as easy as he had hoped. For weeks, he had been grumpier than usual. He had constantly expected to turn the corner and see Oikawa shouting, “Iwa-chan!” at him or complaining about how he needed to work on his serving. It was the little things, too, like when Iwaizumi would slip in the subtlest compliment and Oikawa would give him a genuine smile. With time and patience, it had gotten easier for Iwaizumi to live without Oikawa, especially since he really liked working with the players on the Japanese National Team. But with Oikawa’s return, all of those feelings of pride for his setter and love for his partner had returned. 

Watching Oikawa’s round brown eyes and upturned nose next to him in the booth, Iwaizumi wanted nothing more than to hug and kiss him and be with him one last time.

“Iwaizumi, hello? Earth to Japan’s senpai and trainer,” Hanamaki teased.

“Huh? What?” Iwaizumi turned his attention back to the table.

“Oikawa and Issei are having a race to see who can finish their drink the fastest and you haven’t even touched yours,” Hanamaki commented.

Iwaizumi then watched as the two former teammates both chugged their beverages, cackling when Matsukawa’s mouth started to overflow and liquid ran down his chin, dripping on his shirt.

“All of you are still idiots, I was just zoning out to save myself,” Iwaizumi grumbled, pushing his glass away from him.

After one more round, only taken by Oikawa and Hanamaki, things started to get sloppy.

“What do you mean Kunimi and Kindaichi weren’t secretly making out in the broom closet when we weren’t looking? Of course, they were!” Oikawa slurred.

“Hah, just like me and Hiro,” Matsukawa side glanced at Hanamaki and smirked, playfully bumping the other’s shoulder.

“Gross, you two!” Oikawa shrieked while Iwaizumi made a face of disgust. Of course, both of them knew that they had done much worse in the broom closet than just make out.

“But anyways,” Oikawa started, but accidentally knocked over one of his now empty glasses, and it shattered on the floor. The loud sound had startled everyone, including several onlookers.

“Oops?” Oikawa shrugged as the waitress from before was no longer possessed by Oikawa’s charms.

“Okay, that’s it. You’ve had enough. You’re going home,” Iwaizumi declared, already starting to take out his wallet to pay for the drinks and the damage.

“Oh, Iwa-chan, don’t be silly! We’re having a great time!” Oikawa frowned.

“You just knocked over a glass and haven’t even apologized, plus your eyes are all glassy. Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a long trip back to Miyagi tomorrow,” Iwaizumi pointed out.

“Ugh, Iwa-chan, must you be the voice of reason?” Oikawa rolled his eyes in defeat but still smiled.

The four exited the restaurant after Iwaizumi had paid, insisting that it was his treat, and stopped in the lobby to say their goodbyes.

“We’re staying with one of Hiro’s friends who lives nearby, so we’re just gonna walk,” Matsukawa explained.

“It was good to see you guys, glad you’re doing okay,” Iwaizumi patted each of them on the back.

“You guys,” Oikawa whined, “you have to come and visit more often! I miss you both so much!”

“We miss you too, Drunkkawa,” Hanamaki laughed, grabbing his partner’s hand and walking out of the restaurant.

After they had gone, Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa, “alright, idiot, how are we getting you home?”

“Aww, Iwa-chan, I’m staying at a hotel,” Oikawa explained, unable to walk in a straight line towards the door, “I’ll be just fine making it back.”

Iwaizumi immediately put Oikawa’s arm over his shoulder and steadied the now very clumsy man.

“You’re just as stupid as I always thought you were if you think I’m letting you go home like this. Come on, let’s get a car,” Iwaizumi stated.

“Always such a good senpai, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa giggled.

“Shut up before I smack you upside the head,” Iwaizumi threatened.

As the taxi arrived, Iwaizumi shoved Oikawa in first and got in behind him. He said the name of Oikawa’s hotel to the driver, and the car started to move.

“Iwa-chan, I missed the lights of Tokyo,” Oikawa’s eyes glistened with the reflection of the buildings in his eyes. Iwaizumi felt a tightening in his heart at Oikawa’s genuine comment, he had missed the few moments where Oikawa would turn off his showy personality and be real about something he felt.

“Yeah, well,” was all the reply that Iwaizumi could manage. Iwaizumi didn’t have it in him to tell Oikawa that the lights of Tokyo weren’t all he should have missed since he left Japan.

The pair rode in silence the rest of the way. At some point, Oikawa yawned and rested his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. The sudden touch had jolted Iwaizumi, but he quickly settled, not wanting to make Oikawa ask any questions as to why Iwaizumi was so jumpy. He chalked Oikawa’s action up to drunkenness or that he just did it out of instinct. Oikawa couldn’t still miss him, too? There must have been hundreds of guys, and girls, who all screamed Oikawa’s name in Argentina. Iwaizumi was nothing special, only a remanence of high school.

As the taxi slowed down in front of the hotel, Iwaizumi checked his phone to find it had already become incredibly late. Beside him, Oikawa hadn’t fallen asleep, but was still resting on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, his eyes closed. 

“Get up, idiot,” Iwaizumi mumbled, shoving Oikawa’s upper arm gently.

“Iwa-chan? Where are we?” Oikawa slurred, slowly lifting his head and becoming aware of his surroundings again.

Iwaizumi didn’t answer but had already started to get out of the car and pay the driver. Seeing as Oikawa did not move, he then walked around to Oikawa’s door and forcefully opened it, causing the floppy-haired man to almost come tumbling out. With quick reflexes, Iwaizumi caught him by the arm and a little too aggressively lifted him up, sending Oikawa stumbling into Iwaizumi’s chest. 

“Fucking... Oikawa, get a grip!” Iwaizumi growled, but he was also unable to stop himself from blushing as Oikawa was much closer to him now. 

“Sorry, Iwa-Chan,” Oikawa apologized, straightening himself up, “all better!”

He started to walk and then immediately started stumbling again. 

“I got you,” Iwaizumi grumbled as he put Oikawa’s arm around his shoulder again to walk him inside. All Iwaizumi could think about was how lucky Oikawa was that he was so cute, otherwise Iwaizumi would have dumped him in the street a long time ago. But in the end, he felt an irresistible pull towards Oikawa and knew he would feel guilty if something happened to him. 

They walked into the hotel lobby and Iwaiumi glanced around to see if there were any cameras or videos being taken of the two of them. With Oikawa being on the National Team, there was sure to be tabloid reporters or fans around. But so late at night, the lobby was empty except for the receptionist at the front.

“Where’s your room key?” Iwaizumi asked, still supporting Oikawa.

“Oh, Iwa-chan, so forward, I like your style,” Oikawa smirked, winking.

Face reddening immediately, Iwaizumi glowered, “no, Crappykawa, it’s the fact that you can’t walk two feet without stumbling into something.”

“Aww, I love when you’re concerned about my safety,” Oikawa smiled, patting Iwaiumi’s cheek with his free hand. 

Iwaizumi immediately slapped Oikawa’s hand away, “Stop it, can you just tell me what floor you are on?”

“Four, my lucky number, duh,” Oikawa explained, digging into his pocket for his wallet to find the key card. Of course, in the process of pulling it out, Oikawa dropped his wallet on the floor.

Both of the men watched it drop and both immediately bent down to pick it up. 

“Ow, Trashykawa, watch it!” Iwaizumi cried as Oikawa’s head bumped into his own. Massaging the now tender spot, he scooped up the wallet, pulled out the keycard, and stood up. Oikawa, on the other hand, had chosen to fall to the ground. 

“Iwa-channn, that really hurt,” Oikawa moped, messing up his hair slightly trying to rub away the pain. 

“Assikawa, get up off the floor,” Iwaizumi demanded, his face deadpan. 

“No!” Oikawa crossed his arms.

“Loserkawa, you’re in the middle of a hotel lobby, get the fuck up,” Iwaizumi pulled at Oikawa’s arms. Oikawa tried to put up a fight, but they both knew Iwaizumi was much stronger and was able to lift the brown-eyed man up. 

“I thought we agreed you would stop calling me those terrible nicknames, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa narrowed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, still rubbing his head.

“Only when you stop calling me Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi muttered, steering him towards the elevator. 

“Never!” Oikawa shouted, writhing under Iwaizumi’s grip.

“Suit yourself,” Iwaizumi whispered, smiling to himself as he pressed floor four on the elevator.

The elevator doors shut, and Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa and leaned him against the wall. 

In response, Oikawa slid down to the floor and sat down. 

“For fuck’s sake, Oikawa, we’re almost to your room, you don’t have to sit down!” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, “you’re going to get your suit all dirty!”

“Think I look good, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa looked up at him with a twinkle in his eye.

“That’s literally not what I said,” Iwaizumi watched the elevator ding at floor three, “come on, get the fuck up.”

“No need to be vulgar,” Oikawa held up his arms, “carry me! I’m too tired to walk to bed.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, no!” Iwaizumi shouted.

“Pleaseeee, Iwa-chaannnnn!” Oikawa whined.

“No!” Iwaizumi shouted again, not about to let Oikawa win.

“Okay, well I guess we can just keep riding the elevator all night,” Oikawa shrugged, grinning.

Iwaizumi clenched his fists and scrunched up his face, but ultimately gave in. He wanted to go the fuck home, not deal with more of Oikawa’s antics. He walked over to his former partner and started to lift up under his arm and knee. Oikawa wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck and shouted, “yay, Iwa-chan to the rescue!” making Iwaizumi’s face burn. 

The elevator doors opened at floor four and Iwaizumi walked out unsteadily, Oikawa hanging off of him. It wasn’t the problem that Oikawa was heavy, Iwaizumi could lift way more than Oikawa’s weight. It was that Oikawa’s legs were so long that they unevenly distributed his body weight. 

“Oh, Iwa-chan, so strong and muscular,” Oikawa teased as he booped Iwaizumi’s nose. 

Iwaizumi’s back stiffened in surprise at the compliment and his cheeks burned, “sh- shut up.”

“And don’t think I didn’t notice how nicely you’re dressed tonight, Iwa-chan, your white shirt really brings out your dark eyes,” Oikawa babbled.

“Wh-,” Iwaizumi had to clear his throat to try and change the subject, “which room number are you?” 

“0401,” Oikawa tilted his head in confusion, “you really hadn’t guessed?”

“No, I don’t care,” Iwaizumi merely replied.

“Yes, you do,” Oikawa muttered to himself quietly, but Iwaizumi could still hear him. 

It was, of course, true that Iwaizumi still cared about Oikawa. If Oikawa was staying in Japan, Iwaizumi would have probably already asked him to move in. As annoying as he was, Iwaizumi always had a soft spot for Oikawa, no matter how many times he had physically smacked him over the head. But long distance didn’t work out for people, especially when the future was so unknown. Iwaizumi knew it was best to start letting Oikawa go, which was why he broke up with him in the first place. 

They arrived at Oikawa’s door where Iwaizumi juggled holding Oikawa and swiping the key card against the door. Finally unlocking, they stepped into the cold, air-conditioned room overlooking the Tokyo skyline. The bed was neatly made up and a suitcase was lined up against the wall, only about half of the clothes unpacked.

Iwaizumi dropped Oikawa onto the king-sized bed and sat down on the desk chair himself, far enough away from where he could be tempted. 

“Well, Iwa-chan, that was fun!” Oikawa exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, still lying down on the bed. 

“No, it wasn’t,” Iwaizumi grumbled, “are you good now? Can I go?” 

“Iwa-chan, I genuinely can’t distinguish if there is one or two of you in that chair, and you’re going to leave me here by myself?” Oikawa whimpered.

“Yes,” Iwaizumi started getting up out of the chair. 

“Iwa, no, wait, please!” Oikawa moaned, sitting up on the bed, “please at least help me get undressed.” 

Oikawa’s tone sounded too sincere for Iwaizumi to resist. He walked over to Oikawa on the bed and instructed him to take off his shoes and take off his suit jacket so Iwaizumi could put it in the closet. 

While it pained Iwaizumi to think about, Oikawa looked amazing in his dark navy suit. Clothes hung off of Oikawa naturally, like a model. His long legs and lean torso made his shoulders appear broader, and his perfectly cut jawline always drove Iwaizumi senseless. But most of all, Iwaizumi missed Oikawa’s lips. That dummy always had chapstick on, so his lips were soft and light pink, making them even more inviting. 

“Thank you, Iwa,” Oikawa said as he watched Iwaizumi put Oikawa’s jacket on the hanger. 

“You’re my partner,” Iwaizumi shrugged, coming back over to him, “I’m going to unbutton your shirt now, just to warn you.”

Oikawa didn’t give a verbal response but spread his arms out to the sides to give Iwaizumi a clear reach. Iwaizumi unbuttoned Oikawa’s shirt with slow, steady hands, while Oikawa started humming. He then took it off Oikawa’s arms to reveal the setter’s toned abdomen and built chest. Iwaizumi had his own sets of abs that were probably more defined than Oikawa’s, but he still admired his former partner’s looks every chance he could. 

“Now your pants,” Iwaizumi blushed, uncomfortable before he had even said the words. He hoped Oikawa couldn’t see his embarrassment in the dimmed room.

“Iwa-chan, you’ve taken off my pants plenty of times before,” Oikawa joked, standing up in front of him, “no need to get shy now.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened at the comment. He quickly decided Oikawa was only saying this because he was intoxicated. 

“You know it’s different, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi sighed.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Oikawa walked over to the dresser and put on a worn, mint t-shirt over his head. He then walked back to where Iwaizumi was standing by the bed, holding one arm in the other awkwardly. Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s hands and moved them to the side. Then before giving Iwaizumi time to think about it, he leaned in and kissed him. Their lips met, Oikawa’s still tasting slightly like alcohol. It felt like Iwaizumi was home, and his entire body was washed over with a feeling he couldn’t quite describe. As if by memory, Iwaizumi’s hands went up to Oikawa’s hair and the small of his back, pulling him in closer. Oikawa returned the favor and draped his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck, almost for stability. He felt Oikawa start unzipping his pants, and then felt Oikawa’s hands move to start unzipping Iwaizumi’s as well. 

After what seemed like only a split second, Iwaizumi realized what he was doing and released Oikawa, pulling away.

“Oi- Oikawa, please, we’re shou-,” he was interrupted.

“Hajime, I know we’re not together, but I miss you,” Oikawa whispered, still standing only a small distance from his former partner in the darkened room, pulling his legs out of his pant holes urgently. 

“You’re drunk. You don’t actually want this,” Iwaizumi started.

“I’m not that drunk anymore,” Oikawa argued, folding his pants over the desk chair. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but look down at Oikawa’s underwear to find the imprint of the bulge he wanted so badly. 

“It doesn’t matter. If we do anything, it’ll just end up hurting more later,” Iwaizumi looked away from Oikawa and out the window at the skyline. 

As stubborn as ever, Oikawa stepped closer to him and put his hand on Iwaizumi’s cheek.

“Iwa...” Oikawa couldn’t put together any other words.

Iwaizumi gazed into Oikawa’s brown eyes, remembering how many times he had seen them before. They looked different now, tired and sad. The alcohol certainly had an influence on him, but Iwaizumi knew his true feelings. He had never let go of the setter and didn’t know if he ever could. 

Everything resisting Oikawa in his mind was overwhelmed by Iwaizumi’s innate wanting. He leaned in and smashed his lips into Oikawa’s, pushing the setter back slightly until he found his footing, and once again wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck. More passionately this time, Iwaizumi started to kiss around Oikawa’s lips, then his chin, and moving down his neck.

“Hajime...” Oikawa moaned, continuing his previous action of unzipping Iwaizumi’s slacks. Iwaizumi tried to resist, but Oikawa’s kisses pushed his mind further into a state of pure bliss, unable to do anything but try and get every inch of Oikawa’s body to touch him. The setter started to grind his body against Iwaizumi’s, making him grunt. 

With his pants now off, Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa into the bed and unbuttoned his own shirt. However, being released from Oikawa’s grasp once more, reality came back to him and he took a deep breath. He looked at Oikawa, who was lying in anticipation for him on the bed. Was Iwaizumi going to do this to himself again? 

Iwaizumi was sure that after their breakup, Oikawa probably sent himself through countless rebounds and fucked his way out of depression. But Iwaizumi wasn’t like that. For weeks, he had grumbled and frowned his way through life, trying to remember what the hell he did when Oikawa wasn’t around. He threw himself into school and tried to focus on spending time with his friends, but everything reminded him that he was alone. After what felt like forever, he had finally gotten Oikawa out of his mind enough to go back to his normal life. 

Now here Iwaizumi was again, faced with a decision. Let his love for Oikawa take over and end up hurting? Or save himself and stop. 

“Iwa-chan? Are you coming?” Oikawa raised his head off the bed. 

“Uh,” Iwaizumi hesitated.

Finally, taking a deep breath, he moved towards the bed. 

What set Iwaizumi off was the “I missed you, Iwa-chan,” that came off Oikawa’s lips as Iwaizumi hovered over him. He gave in to everything his body is asking and kissed the almost naked Oikawa. It relaxed him and the tightening pit in his stomach settled. The kisses were slow and patient at first, but Oikawa quickly tried to progress things further. He grabbed Iwaizumi’s bulge through his underwear and squeezed, eliciting a groan from the dark-haired man. 

“Hajime, it’s always been you,” Oikawa took his fingers and ran them across Iwaizumi’s chin and jawline. 

Oikawa’s words sparked Iwaizumi to come back to his senses. He pushed himself off of Oikawa and sat up on the bed. He must have been dreaming, or too drunk himself. Those were the words he’s wanted to hear from Oikawa for years. Why now? Because it was convenient? Because it would give Oikawa one last time with him?

“I can’t, Tooru,” Iwaizumi whispered. He wanted to add more. Explain how he wouldn’t be able to handle what he went through last time if Oikawa left again, but he refrained. 

“Iwa, stay with me. Don’t go,” Oikawa murmured, reaching for Iwaizumi’s hand. 

Iwaizumi turned and looked at his former partner and best friend, “are you sure?”

“I sleep better with you around, you know that. I’m restless without you,” Oikawa mused, starting to undo the duvet and get under the covers.

Iwaizumi watched him until Oikawa settled and patted the bed beside him.

“I know you want to, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa teased lightly, but Iwaizumi weighed his options seriously. His mind started to wander to Oikawa’s intentions. Did he want Iwaizumi here for old time’s sake, or was it because he still had feelings for him? Oikawa had said all of the right words, but it wouldn’t be the first time that Oikawa used his charm to get what he wanted in the moment. Would he do that to his best friend?

Ultimately, tired and worn out from his own thoughts, Iwaizumi got up and walked over to lie down with Oikawa. Oikawa made a cheerful noise and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi immediately, and gave him several kisses on his head. Normally, Iwaizumi would cringe at this and pull away, but tonight he wished to absorb as much of Oikawa as he could, knowing it wouldn’t last. He turned on his side and pushed himself further into Oikawa, the taller of the two becoming the big spoon. Their bare skin touching, it was so warm and comfortable that Iwaizumi thought about never leaving again. He had missed this so much, it consumed him.

As they fell asleep, entangled in each other in every possible way, Oikawa murmured, “I love you, Iwa-chan.” 

Iwaizumi’s heart skipped a beat and he forgot how to breathe. He didn’t know how to respond without his heart shattering, believing that Oikawa only said this in his drunken state out of habit. A tear rolled down Iwaizumi’s cheek and several more welled up in his eyes as he squeezed Oikawa’s hand that was wrapped around him and kissed it gently. He would take one last night to remember Oikawa Tooru, but he knew it would be over in the morning.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I turned this from a one shot to an actual fic because I was bored and frankly, needed a place to get my angst and hurt emotions out. So here's the product. Let me know politely if you hate it xx

Iwaizumi woke up dehydrated and with a small headache to a brightly lit room. He squinted and put up his hand to see why it was so bright, quietly groaning as he sat up in the bed. It was the deepest sleep he’d gotten in a while, if it wasn’t for him being woken up by the sun. Before he got a chance to figure out what was happening, he heard someone moan next to him and a hand moved onto his leg.

“Oh fuck, Oikawa”, Iwaizumi jumped as his eyes moved towards the hand, which he recognized immediately.

Suddenly, everything from last night had started flooding back. Iwaizumi was in a hotel room, and neither him nor Oikawa thought about closing the curtains last night, meaning the whole city was awaiting them on the other side of the glass. He took another look at Oikawa, whose broad shoulders and floppy hair were taking up the rest of the bed, still sleeping silently with his hand on Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi leaned back against the headboard, and rolled his eyes closed. All he could think about was how the fuck he had managed to get himself in this situation again. Well, not all, there was a tiny piece of him that wanted to wrap Oikawa in his arms and go back to sleep. But last night, he had just wanted to bring Oikawa back to his hotel room so he wouldn’t feel guilty for not stopping another one of Oikawa’s drunk stunts. But his former setter had managed to wrap Iwaizumi around his finger yet again, and quite literally, drag him to bed. He fell for it every time, and he knew it, too. Of course, being in the same bed as Oikawa was one of the best nights of sleep Iwaizumi had gotten in a while. They fit together perfectly.

Catching himself, he shook his head, reminding himself that they were no longer together. This wasn’t the time to romanticize another night with Oikawa. It would only hurt worse later when he was in his own bed at home, cold and alone. Last night was an error, something to be forgotten. He figured it would be best to leave before Oikawa woke up, since Iwaizumi had no idea what to say to him. Before committing to getting up, Iwaizumi scanned the room for the rest of his clothes and determined his plan of action. He would just grab as many things as he could to look decent, and then finish getting dressed in the lobby bathroom.

Content with his plan, Iwaizumi lifted the covers of the bed carefully and slid out, his feet feeling the soft carpet underneath him. Before taking another step, he glanced back at Oikawa, who only mumbled something unintelligible and didn’t move a muscle. The tension in Iwaizumi’s shoulders relaxed slightly, and he crept towards the dresser where he quickly slid on his pants, put his phone in his pocket, and threw on his white button-down from last night. He was halfway to the door, buttoning up his shirt as he walked, when he heard a mumble.

“Iwa?”, Oikawa had awoken, and had a morning voice that made its way into the pit of Iwaizumi’s stomach.

Iwaizumi silently cursed Oikawa for his, as ever, impeccable timing. He had a choice at this point to keep walking or to face Oikawa, and Iwaizumi really wanted to just keep walking. It would be easier that way for both of them. But before he could make a final decision, Oikawa spoke louder this time.

“Iwa-chan if you even _think_ about walking out that door, I’m going to scream.”

Iwaizumi grimaced, but accepted his fate and walked back toward the bed from the hallway. He was almost done buttoning his shirt when Oikawa came back into his view, lying on his elbow, half covered with the duvet, and staring daggers at Iwaizumi.

“Were you just going to leave?”, Oikawa demanded.

Iwaizumi’s face reddened and he refused to look at Oikawa. He admired the bedside lamp and its bright blue color while coming up with an answer.

“I figured I would let you sleep in,” he lied casually. Iwaizumi had learned well in several years of school to tell Oikawa things that weren’t true, but that he would prefer to hear.

“No, you didn’t,” Oikawa dismissed before continuing, “you could have at least left a note.”

"There isn't any paper in here," Iwaizumi spat. He wasn't going to let Oikawa bully him into staying here any longer. These were stupid excuses, and Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa was just fishing for his attention. He had had enough of the pain of looking into Oikawa's eyes, yet still wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with him.

"Besides," Iwaizumi persisted, "I have an actual job and a long ride back home to do it."

"Well, fuck you then. Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Oikawa snapped, clearly dismissing Iwaizumi's entire presence. Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa lay down on his back and closed his eyes, pulling the covers over his face, probably half for dramatic effect and half because it was still really bright.

After standing there for a moment in disbelief, Iwaizumi huffed, his hands balling into fists as he strode out of the room. A million thoughts ran through his head as he walked out the door, slamming it behind him, only to feel guilty for probably disturbing the other guests. Oikawa practically begged him to sleep with him last night and now he was looking for even more effort from Iwaizumi? This was where he drew the line. Iwaizumi loved Oikawa, he probably always would, but Oikawa's hot-and-cold attitude drove Iwaizumi insane and he couldn't do it forever. 

As the elevator doors closed and Iwaizumi pressed lobby, he vowed to never let Oikawa take control of his emotions like that again. In the empty elevator, Iwaizumi laughed to himself at how ridiculous he sounded, shaking his head in disbelief. It was stupid to think Oikawa actually still had feelings for him. It was all too clear that Oikawa just didn't know how to be alone, coming back to Iwaizumi because he knew that Iwaizumi would give it up for him every single time. 

Iwaizumi freshened up in the hotel lobby bathroom, but he still looked like hell. There wasn't much that could fix the bags under his eyes, and there was absolutely nothing that could fix the dead look in his eyes from being taken on a classic Oikawa relapse. 

Looking at his phone to figure out the best bus and train schedule to take home, Iwaizumi's phone suddenly buzzed. It was a message from Hanamaki.

**Makki: So, any action? ;)**

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. He was sure that Hanamaki and Matsukawa were eagerly awaiting all the details of his and Oikawa's sexual endeavors of last night. They both had taken Iwaizumi's side when Oikawa left, but Iwaizumi was pretty sure that was just because Oikawa moved to the other side of the world. It wasn't exactly like they had to choose between whose Christmas they were going to attend. When Iwaizumi didn't reply, Hanamaki sent another text.

**Makki: dude what's up, you guys still banging one more out this morning? :$**

Iwaizumi knew they weren't going to stop until they got what they wanted, so he fired off a quick text. 

**Iwa: stop**

It only took a few seconds for Hanamaki to reply.

**Makki: bro what**

**Iwa: nothing happened**

**Makki: call us**

Iwaizumi didn't reply and was halfway to the bus stop when his phone rang.

"What?", Iwaizumi barked. He didn't really want to talk about it, but he knew he would just make it worse if he didn't answer the phone.

"Hey, don't get all salty with us, we just wanna help you _Iwa-chan_ ," Matsukawa shouted from what sounded like far away from the phone.

"Are you two ever separated?", Iwaizumi asked.

"No," he heard the two voices say in unison. 

"Hey Mattsun, I thought you had work," Iwaizumi started, trying to continue to steer the conversation away from the topic of him and Oikawa. 

"Fuck off, Iwa," Matsukawa sang, causing Iwaizumi to smirk in annoyance as they had caught onto his game. 

"This ain't about him, gives us the details!", Hanamaki pleaded.

"There are no details, I texted you that. Didn't think this whole thing warranted a phone call."

"Oh. Didn't know you were riding the bullshit train today, Iwaizumi."

"Shut up. I said nothing happened and that's that," Iwaizumi was getting impatient. 

"Okay, so you, what? Just dropped him back off at his hotel and took a cab home?", Hanamaki probed.

"...No," Iwaizumi replied quietly.

"AHA! So there _is_ something else."

"There's nothing that would intrigue you, we didn't have sex." 

"But clearly you're in a terrible mood, so something had to piss you off beyond us gracing you with our phone presence.”

"It’s none of your business," Iwaizumi debated hanging up the phone.

"Oh, but it is. Because we're the ones who are going to have to drag you back from the hell that you're going to put yourself through in the next however long it’s gonna take you to get over this."

"I'm already over it."

"Sure you are, pal. Sure." 

"Tell Iwaizumi to spill his guts or I'm gonna stab him and put him in a crappy coffin," Iwaizumi heard Matsukawa yell towards the speaker.

"Mattsun, I could take you down easily. Don't test me."

"Iwa, it'll be easier for all of us if you just tell us."

"Fine. But not here, I'm about to get on the bus."

"We'll be calling you back soon, Iwa. Don't think we'll forget," Hanamaki promised. 

Iwaizumi barely heard the last goodbyes as he put his phone back into his pocket and stared out the window of the bus. He was going to have to tell Hanamaki and Matsukawa what happened eventually, it just wasn't going to be right now. Knowing he had a while to himself, Iwaizumi sat back in his seat and tried to think about nothing but getting back home and going to sleep. 

He managed to get back home an hour later, shirt even more wrinkled and phone almost out of battery. He turned the key and opened the door to his dark, empty apartment and sighed. After Oikawa left, he couldn't find anyone that he really wanted to be with seriously. Everyone from Hanamaki to Bokuto tried to set him up with someone, but they just never lit a fire inside of Iwaizumi like Oikawa did. He had even considered getting a puppy to distract himself with, or even a cat, per Yaku's suggestion. But Iwaizumi worked a lot, and was dedicated to his players, so he didn't want to leave his pet at home for hours without any contact. So ultimately, he stayed alone. He was paid well, so the apartment was nicely furnished, but sometimes it felt like everything around him was dead, and Iwaizumi was the only thing keeping it from being a museum.

Plugging in his phone and checking his email one more time, Iwaizumi then padded into his bedroom. He threw off his shirt and decided to sleep in his dress pants, too tired to take them off. Before he put his head on the pillow, Iwaizumi looked at the picture frame on his bedside table. It was a picture of him and Oikawa only a few months before Oikawa left for Argentina. Both were smiling and had their arms wrapped around each other. Oikawa had suggested they kiss for the photo, but Iwaizumi didn’t enjoy public displays of affection, especially for photos where other people would constantly look at them. It was the perfect representation of them both, with Oikawa making half a pouty face and Iwaizumi half angry. But right now, it just made him upset. He took the photo and set the frame face-down on the table. Sighing, he switched off the bedside lamp and pulled the cold covers up to his chin, curling up on his side.


End file.
